Live! With Kelly

Wednesday, October 26th, 2016

Announcer: It's "live with kelly!" Today, from the hit drama "quantico," blair underwood. Plus, "broad city" star and author abbi jacobson. And check out our spooky door as we continue our "halloween hacks week." Also, singer michael buble returns for another day at the cohost desk.

All next on "live!"

[Cheering and applaudi]

And now, here are kelly ripa and michael buble!

[Cheering and applauding]

Kelly: Oh, look at that! High


Michael: Hi, everybody. 2016.lly:'s wednesday, joining me again today on hump day is michael buble. See how I made rhyme?

Michael: Hump day, michael buble, have a lovely day. I have so much fun with you, I am sentimental about leaving.

Kelly: You will come back, won't you?

Michael: Please?

Kelly: Yes.

Michael: I love the high-pitched yelp.

Kelly: If you ever want to give up being famous, you can work here, you have a career here.

Michael: Why do you say that?

Kelly: You know, if he wants to give up being a star, you could do this, you are very good at it.

Michael: If you like it established star when I am on your show. I do. I am in the home of millions and millions of people in usa and canada right now.

Kelly: Which reminds me to tell them to pick up your new album. Let me handle the blog.

Michael: I mean, my new album is out right now.

Kelly: I love the visual aids. So cool. We can see that far away.

Michael: "You've come a long way, buble."

Kelly: See how she made it rhyme too? Rhyming hump day. What did you do last night? Anything fun?

Michael: After I saw you, I did a million things. I missed the baseball game because I was out. What happened in the baseball game? Do you know?

Kelly: Everybody knows. Guys, do you want to tell them? Did you hear that?

Michael: Oh, the indians won. It's been a long time for chicago.

Kelly: They both -- I think that as americans, in a matter which team wins, we should all be magnanimous and rally behind that team because they deserve it.


Michael: Or know what magnanimous means. Did they beat him a little bit or did they just get killed?

Kelly: Everybody knows they...

Michael: I'm so out of it.

Kelly: I'm making fun because I didn't see it.

Michael: 6-0? Oh, that's not good.

Kelly: But that's okay.

Michael: What did you do last night?

Kelly: I got my hair colored again. I should really move ryan into my house because at this point I don't know if you know this, but for some reason my hair has taken on a natural shade of gray.

So now I feel like I need to have my hair colored every three to four days, or 17 hours.

Michael: It looks so natural to me.

Kelly: Thank you.

Michael: Roots and stuff?

Kelly: Yeah, I look like a cross between anderson cooper and mrs. Clause. That's kind of what my natural hair looks like.

Michael: I don't know why I find that so sexy. Anderson cooper and mrs. Clause.

Can I read this here? Listen, I'm a very proud canadian.


Kelly: Canadian?

Michael: Thank you for clapping even though you really hate us.

Kelly: No, we love you.

Michael: I truly love

America. When you are canadian, your brothers and sisters, that's the real truth. So there was something in "the huffington post," basically the heading was the elections got you down, don't worry, canadians have you covered with their "how america is great" campaign.

Canadians are putting a campaign online out talking about how great america is. Personally this is what is written, but I understand the country is divided with who you want to vote for, this is not a political show and I will not get political, I am an entertai, I don't need to get controversial, but this is a great country and no matter what happens --

[Cheering and applauding]

And so, I thought this was really cute because this person tweeted "my american brothers and sisters, you are strong, you're beautiful, and this election will not break you, america can and will always be great." So, anyway.

[Cheering and applauding]

[Chanting "usa"]

It feels so great, oh, my god. Patriotism feels -- we don't have that in canada. We go canada -- I'm sorry.


Kelly: That was a very nice tribute to our country.

Michael: You know what, it is a beautiful country, it really is.

Kelly: And so is canada. Did I mention michael buble's album has dropped? I love it so much.

Michael: Please go and buy it because if you don't, I'm going to be so sad.

Kelly: We don't want to make you sad.

Michael: What do you have?

Kelly: This is the thing that is making me panic. Usually I don't believe these stories, but this one is actually true. The super bowl they always have like velveeta cheese shortage or hot wings shortage, there is a chicken wing shortage.

Does that mean there is a chicken shortage? Or just the wings, chickens are being grown without wings now? This one is really true, there is an avocado shortage.

I know. This is like first the election, and now this. This will break us. The average price of $1.65, the average price of a $1.65 avocado is the highest ever recorded in the southwest, and I'm thinking to myself I am pretty sure I bought a $12 avocado the other day.

I'm pretty sure.

Michael: What is the problem?

Kelly: So there is a grower's strike in mexico that has contributed to the problem because that historically kept prices -- it has cap the prices lower here.

There is also a major drought in california, which has made the growth of california avocados so much lower. Avocados are like -- I'm not going to take you through a botany class.

Because the truth is I don't know that much, but I'm pretty sure you need the mail and the female avocado and when a male and female avocado tree love each other very, very much, they make guacamole.

That is why we are able to --

Michael: That's hilarious.

Kelly: Chipotle vowed not to raise their guacamole prices, everybody. So, the chains ran out of guac last week.

Michael: Can you imagine if it got to the super bowl and there was no guac for the super bowl party? That's worse than gas or electricity shortage.

Kelly: It reminds me of the wing shortage of 2015. The velveeta cheese shortage of 2014.

Michael: I don't even know if this is good or bad, but basically a pet parrot squawked -- this is so stupid.

Kelly: I love parrot stories.

Michael: The pet parrot squawked the husband was to timing her with the maid. He chirped flirty phrases that he had been hearing. The husband use the bird as

Proof against the unfaithful. This is not the first time a parrot has outed a cheater or a "fowl" player. The gi squealed that his girlfriend had been unfaithful.

"I love you, gary."

Kelly: Gary, I knew it.

Michael: Revealing the name of a lover. So many reasons not to do this or to get caught, everything from -- you know what I mean, texting. A parrot that talks.

Kelly: Here is the thing with the parrot. Things with parents and talking birds, they don't just talk, they sound like their owners. They take on the voice of the person they hear the most.

My aunt and uncle, I've told

This story before, my aunt and uncle have a cockatiel that talk that sounds exactly like my uncle. It says things at the thanksgiving table that are inappropriate.


But it's always addressing my aunt. I will tell you during commercial breaks, but I cannot tell you on air, we will be taken off the air. I love stories, especially a parrot.

Not like the parrot, oh, you are cheating. The parrot's hearing christie say "I love you, gary."

Michael: There was an author who said you should live your life the way you would if you had a parrot because they tell the city what you were talking about.

Any kind of gossip you wouldn't want out there, you should live like that. I would be so toast if I had a parrot. There was something, I'm not that much into politics, but something about them joining, which I am so not understanding this.

Kelly: Going to join and opera?

>> They're putting her in the opera.

Michael: Supreme talent. I love this, notorious rbg. Now, she's going to prove her justice taking off her robe and put her to something else for a one night performance.

Kelly: What opera?

Michael: The daughter of the regiment. Which I listened to all the time.

Kelly: Guys, run out and get your tickets now.

Michael: I don't know, it's interesting. She's an opera-buff who has previously been on stage in the background filling in for -- I don't even know what is going on here.

Kelly: You are very funny, you're like me, I read these stories sometimes for the first time on the air. Sometimes -- I read a lot of newspapers, so I tried to have them all completed by the time I go on the air.

Some days you oversleep and sometimes it just goes cockamamie a in the house ande kids have a fever or who knows.

Michael: Do you read the paper? I get everything on an app.

Kelly: I like newspapers, I like the feeling of the paper, but in the middle of the night if I wake up and can't sleep, I will go to my app and read the newspaper.

I think that's how most people do it now because I don't want the idea of not having newspapers, I don't like that idea and I don't like the idea of not having books because I think those things are important, they are the touchstone of who we are.

Michael: I agree. I'm not just saying this, but I like that lay with CDs and co

[Cheering and applauding]

I know somebody who has a cd -- I like having, I get it, now the generation of kids, they downloaded and whatever. But I miss the of having a physical, tangible package.

I'm old, I guess. When you have a newspaper it hold it, I know what you mean.

Kelly: I remember -- okay, I remember the eight track. When that went away, that was so sad. I remember the eight track in my mom's car because in the middle of the eagles eight track, in the middle of peaceful, easy feeling I believe it was flip over and flip over in the middle and play the rest of the song on the other side.

Do you remember this? Okay, I'm not crazy.

Michael: I remember the eight track. My grandpa --

Kelly: Your grandfather.


Michael: Yeah.

Kelly: We used to to do et track exchanges in our country.

Michael: He would always put the eight track of dolly parton in.

Kelly: And it sounded great. It was special.

Michael: Did you know they are bringing back the cassettes now?

Kelly: Did it ever go away? I'm excited. We have a huge show today. From "quantico," blair underwood is her

Michael: And from "broad city," abbi jacobson.

Kelly: You are going to see abbi jacobson. And we continue our halloween hacks with the top ten spookiest doors.


I said the top ten.

[Cheering and applauding]

Nobody has any reverence for the spooky door anymore. And, oh, wait, we have to do our thing.

Michael: This has become my favorite part of the day.

Kelly: This has become my least favorite part of the day. It's time for "take off travel trivia."

[Cheering and applauding]

Michael: That was so sexy. I wanted to get up and shake it with you. Ooh, baby, baby.

Kelly: We can play more of the song if you want to go dance with him.

Michael: Don't make me dance.

[Cheering and applauding]

Kelly: You just showed who is boss. From new york, everybody. Great job.

Michael: All right, we have patty from naples, florida. Can I take her off hold?

Kelly: Yeah, yeah. Hey, patty.

Caller: Good morning, michael, good morning, kelly.

Kelly: What are you doing today?

Caller: Going with our friends on a pontoon boat.

Kelly: Seriously?

Caller: Yes.

Kelly: Will you see alligators?

Caller: Possibly. It's in a mangrove area so there may be some alligators.

Michael: What's a pontoon boat?

Kelly: What!

Michael: What is a pontoon boat?

Kelly: Is like a zamboni for a swamp.

Michael: Wait a second, is this something? Pontoon boats are popular here?

Kelly: In florida. They have them in canada too? Gelman the pontoon expert.

Michael: You know what, honest to god, you know what --

Kelly: That isn't a pontoon boat, is it? Isn't that a riverboat? I thought it was the thing with a big fan in the back. What's that called?

Michael: Thank you for not

Knowing. All I know is that looks nothing like my 200-foot yacht.


Kelly: Speaking of, michael's album drops this week. Listen, patti, we are going to spend to see what you are applying for, okay?

Oh, wow. Patti, gas up the car, we are going to you to st. Pete beach, florida.


Caller: Okay.

Kelly: It never fails, whoever from florida plays from florida, 9 times out of 9.

Michael: Tradewinds islands resort. St. Pete beach, florida. Seven days, six nights includes a spa treatment perso valued $4200. You have 20 seconds and only one guess.

Michael: Here we go, the question is, who's concert. Kelly say was the first should ever been to?

Caller: David bowie.

Kelly: Yes!

Announcer: Congratulations, you and your guest will enjoy seven days and six nights at the tradewinds island resort on florida's west coast. Consistently ranked one of america's top beaches by tripadvisor.

Enjoy endless beach activity, dining, beach walks, and exciting kids programs. Spacious accommodations, and more. Tradewinds island resorts, enjoy life and just let go.

Your prize is valued at approximate the $4,200.

[Cheering and applauding]

Kelly: What's that? Yeah, you can take your pontoon boat over and docket at the hotel.

Caller: Does michael want to come along?

Michael: Yes.

Caller: I'll take him along.

Kelly: It's a date, patti.

Michael: Will feed my life to an alligator.

I'm kidding, people. Everyone knows they will feed me to the alligator.

Kelly: Listen, patti, now you can make the day of elected member of the studio audience will receive a $500 gift certificate from ikea, so please take a number between 1-226.

Caller: The age of my son,

Elly: Stick around, blair underwood when we come back.

Announcer: Still ahead on "live," we'll continue our week of halloween hacks with the top ten spookiest doors. "Broad city" abbi jacobson. Coming up next, blair underwood.

Announcer: Five more days until "live"'s halloween show.

[Cheering and applauding]

Michael: What? That was gelman?

Kelly: They filed a lawsuit against us.

Michael: He is hot.

Kelly: You are welcome, canada.

Leted, really nice guy, but let's be honest, heat a whole lot of handsome. Please welcome blair underwood!

[Cheering and applauding]

>> What's up, man. How are you?

Michael: Look at you.

Kelly: You should all know blair underwood smells as good as he looks. Where have you been, by the way?

>> Where have I been?

Kelly: We haven't seen you for

>> I retired, actually. I've checked out for a year, I did theater, went on tour. I have also been doing road trips.

Michael: Were you doing that before?

Kelly: No, but I have been dying to. I feel like we would be good in an rv across the country.

Kelly: It's good, it's good. You mentioned I am doing "quantico" right now. I only got three weeks to work with solely a small window, so I went off the next day, got an rv, a 28-footer rv, I didn't know what I was doing.

We ended up going up to mount out.

Kelly: What did the teenagers do?

>> My 19-year-old drove some. They kind of empty did the rv at night. We went to those little campgrounds.

Kelly: My number one question because I was talking to mark last night, ioil he said find out who emptied the waste.

>> Every night, that would be me. Listen, give them instructions and made sure they tried.

They were like, "really?"

Michael: All I can think of is going on vacation with chevy chase.

>> That's it, in blackface. We were like the only ones out on the road.

Kelly: You pull into the campground, you tie up, you dock for the night, do the other campers go, "is that blair underwood?" Are they freaking out?

>> It was certainly a learning curve. They were nice to me. You have to plug in the electricity before you put the water in. No, actually I was telling my wife the other day I was thinking but how much I love that road trip.

Yeah, the oldest son was just saying how much he hated it.

Michael: We have a family, it's tough, how do you balance that? My wife is making movies and I'm over here. So when you are doing a show like "quantico," what do you do?

>> You put on a lot of miles. It is challenging. But I try to get back every two, two and a half weeks if I can. Just to break up that block of time. By the way, talked to my wife last night was a huge michael buble fan.

Michael: Thank you. I can't take it.

>> Said to ask michael, when we sing your mouths are wide open. She said such a great voice but he hardly moves his mouth, as how he does that.

Michael: Oh, yeah, because I lip-synch most of it.

>> There it is.


Kelly: We will find out more when we come back. Stick around.

Announcer: Still ahead on "live," "broad city" star abbi jacobson.

>> You're going to learn the opportunity of a writer, director, stagehand, you craft the narrative, you create the illusion. False intelligence, stage crime scene, the art of illusion is about making something look like something else convincingly placing yourself somewhere you've never been or erasing yourself as if you were never there at all.

[Cheering and applauding]

Kelly: That's blair underwood in "quantico." You play a cia agent. What have you learned about the cia? They are not really supposed to be known, right?

>> Nope it and made a mistake. We have a tech advisor and I made the mistake of saying his name in an interview. The next day he said dude, my parents didn't even know I am in the cia.

His name is mike. I won't say last name. There are a million mike's. One of the things you learn his last year was all about the fbi with "quantico," the fbi agents and all the recruits at virginia at the farm.

Last year was all about truth and justice and getting down to the bottom of the truth, the cia, at least on our show, is all about covert operations, espionage, making people believe something else other than, the sleight-of-hand, other than what it really is.

With all the you know what, I think when jerry o'connell with hosting with you.

Kelly: Shoot, shoot. Tossed around like a rag doll, I wasefore we did a scene, I am doing "live with kelly" tomorrow with jerry o'connell, wants to try this move, I'm not sure.

That girl jammed me up so fast.

Kelly: It's so funny because I went back and I watched it because I wanted to see if it was as brutal as it was filming. I have a 52nd delay on my reaction because she flips him so fast I was like wait, what just happened?

She is freakishly strong.

>> I was the test dummy on that one. She's amazing. She's doing her thing. The show is doing well.

Kelly: We are so happy fr you. Make sure you check out blair underwood on "quantico." Up next, abbi jacobson is here. Up next, abbi jacobson is here.

Stick around. Robert Kearney: I fought for my country in Kosovo and Iraq, and I've been a Republican all my life. But I'm the father of three girls. I can't stand hearing Donald Trump call women pigs, dogs, and bimbos...and I sure don't want my daughters hearing it. I want my girls to grow up proud and strong, in a nation where they're valued and respected. Donald Trump's America is not the country I fought for. So, I'm voting for Hillary Clinton. Hillary

Clinton: I'm Hillary Clinton and I approve this message.

Michael: He's one of the masterminds behind the hit comedy series "broad city," please welcome the wonderful abbi jacobson.

[Cheering and applauding]

>> What's up? Hey, hey, hey. Whoa. Hi. Nice to meet you.

Michael: Nice to meet you.

Kelly: Yes, all the queens. You two are going to be spending like the whole day together.

Michael: Yeah.

Kelly: Very exciting. So, "broad city," season 4. Are you shooting now or did you shoot it over the summer?

>> Haven't shot it yet, we wrote it over the summer. For the past three seasons we have done summer stuff, it takes place in new york in the summer, we have realized we have been in new york and a big part of the hustle is the winter.

It's not the best, but it creates a lot of good content, lot of good plot lines and stuff, so we decided to shoot over the winter. Our start date is january, february.

Kelly: You are going to hate it. You will do one season in winter and go right back into summer.

>> We're so excited, what if it snows. It's going to be so terrible because we shoot outside.

Kelly: Snow in new york city is pretty for eight seconds. And then it is like dirt.

Michael: You can use that for writing.

>> I want it to snow because we can't afford fake snow. It has to snow. But, yeah, see how many dogs live in new york when it snows.

Kelly: What is it with people in new york city that think they don't have to pick up their dogs poop when it snows? It doesn't make it vanish.

>> You are almost giving it a stage.

Kelly: Yes. It's really impressive. You should do an episode about that, and entire episode.

>> May be we will.

Kelly: I love the book so much.

>> Thank you so much, I'm so excited about it.

Michael: My publicist was in the green room reading it, dying. She was like "this is so amazing, oh, my god."

>> I like her.

Kelly: And my son read it already, joaquin read it. He believes you love oprah winfrey more than me.

>> I do like oprah a lot. Maybe not quite as much as my character on the show. But I do like oprah.

Kelly: Explain with the book is about, it is what you believe people carry.

>> I have always been fascinated by what people carry around with them. It is very voyeuristic what we carry around, in new york you have to pack for the whole day.

That only what the pack but how we pack. It really gives you an insight into who somebody is, so this is sort of my fanfiction for all of those people.

Each page is what I think they might carry around. It is based on some research is so there's a lot of truth to a lot of the stuff.

Kelly: I like oprah has a

Tea period >> I feel like oprah has a lot of giveaways.

Michael: What do you think kelly would have?

>> I think kelly would have a pair of sneakers. So funny on the show they made you shape-ups.

Kelly: That was very brilliant.

>> You are always wearing heels, so you can do a quick change.

Kelly: I do.

>> I think you have the essential flip lopp, lipstick.

Kelly: Lipgloss. I have to wear makeup on the air. Moist lip, not a done lip.

>> Love that. Maybe a hair type.

Your >>

Kelly: Hair tie, yes.

>> May be a book.

Kelly: Yes.

>> A snack?

Kelly: Like a protein bar or some sort of a bar.

>> I'm a big our girl too.

Michael: In mind I have some lipstick.

Kelly: He didn't want to say that about me because thought maybe I was too old.

>> I did not. There is something you do carry I would like to know.

Kelly: Something you didn't say I carry?

>> I don't have anything that I feel like I should have a very revealing say wow thing to say. I will tell you in the next interview.

Kelly: I don't really carry anything that revolutionary. I like to be like oh, my gosh, all my cash.

Michael: Nothing more than $10.

Kelly: Exactly, just a little bit.

>> What about when you fly? Pee. In cassome a flight or somebody wears a paper mask that is for your skin? People now wear them on flights because flights are drying out.

They wear these things, it is kind of terrifying.

Kelly: Yes.

Michael: Anytime I see famous people, they always wear the hoodies and the hat down, as if they are invisible but you know them more.

>> Oh, they must be somebody.

Kelly: Or if there is like a big bodyguard. I don't know who that is but they have a big bodyguard. Isn't that how you figure it out?

>> That's how I figure it out.

Kelly: Listen, I love this book so much. "Carry this book" is available now. Make sure you pick it up. , up up next, spooky doors.

Announcer: Tomorrow on "live," from the new series "the great indoors," joel McHALE.

Most people owe the bank. But Pat Toomey actually owned a bank. And when he went to Washington, he voted to change the laws... To benefit Wall Street and banks like his.

Voting to gut consumer protections that crack down... On predatory lending and fraud. To take money from you and... Line the pockets of Wall Street millionaires like...

Himself. Revealing the top ten spookiest please welcome doors.

>> Let me is second only to christmas in decorating ideas O.

Kelly: Show it to us.

>> Protected, and use some pains to put on the message, wrapped it again once it was dry. Really fun, great for outdoors.

Number 9, are you ready? This is another warning, but this is cardboard and we attach to it. A little more whimsical.

Kelly: Good for like a dorm


>> Just a regular marker and drew on some wood. I need your help for this one, we're going to pull it down. One, two, three. Okay, so the say super kids friendly one.

Paper plates. This is my front door last year.

Kelly: In new york city people would be eating off of these plates.

>> Very cool. Number 7. This is made from something every household has, everybody has this. Ready?

Kelly: Is that toilet paper?

>> The only good way to toilet paper a house. This can be good on your bathroom door. If it is outside, use saran wrap. See what I did there?

Kelly: I like it.

>> This is the easiest, even if you have no creativity, you can do this. All right, ready, one, two, three. So, these bats are just stuck on. We have a template on the web site.

Kelly: C can just download


>> So you can do it anyway you like.

Kelly: When we come back we will show you the top 5 spooky doors.

Announcer: Tomorrow on "live," from the film "american pastoral," uzo aduba.

Katie: My mom was a restaurant hostess while raising 10 kids. In retirement she relied on Social Security. Pat Toomey talked about raising the Social Security and Medicare retirement age.

For folks like this who work the factory floor and work hard -- that's devastating. He doesn't seem to get it. I do. I grew up surrounded by working families that depended on Social Security and Medicare.

They earned it and I'll protect it. I'm Katie McGinty, and I approve this message.

Serving in Afghanistan, veterans like me earned educational benefits. But we didn't expect for-profit colleges to try to scam us when we returned home.

Pat Toomey served on the board of a for-profit college that targeted veterans. He tried to turn our military benefits into his financial gain. But Toomey's bogus school was stripped of its accreditation.

Ripping off our military to make a profit? Pat Toomey: He's Washington at its worst. Nea Advocacy Fund is responsible for the content of this advertising.

Hillary clinton: This is not an ordinary time, and this is not an ordinary election. We are going to lift each other up. ■ and this is not an ordinary election.

To work for everyone... Not just those at the top. Making the best education system from preschool through college. Making it affordable, because that's, I think, the best way for us to get the future that our children and our grandchildren deserve.

There's nothing that America can't do. I'm Hillary Clinton and I approve this message.

>> K at

We spray painted some little spiders, really creepy and number 4. Are you ready for it?■1■oT■2 thg any craft store. If you can't find them, you can use paper plates.

Kelly: This is

Michael: Wow. Hands. We puts is he

>> This is actually a small laundry basket we wrapped I so fun. And number 1. Might you, little less crafty but so popular. So, th get■I So, this is platform 3/4.

Across Pennsylvania far too many communities ar And voted for seven separate trade deals that sent our jobs overseas.

I love that., niel sunjata, and ■'(+

[Cheers and applause]

Ellen: Thank you so much. I apprecia thank

Ellen: Have a seat, everybody. Back at you. I appreciate energy. Lovely dancing. Lovely dancers, twitch.


Ellen: One young lady up there, I was worried that her hands were going to raise too hi■b scary on tv. Most of its cnn.

[Lghter]u know, babies and andy.


The good news is, you don't have it be scared if you look at them the right way. I will give you some examples. Have you seen "the exorcist?"

[Cheers and applause]

Yeah. Okay. It's about a girl who is possessed and priests come to S. But now it just looks like she's doesn't it? Have you seen "halloween?"


Yeah. Okay. The scary part is, it's about a guy that escapes a hospital and wreaks havoc on the small town, but he's taking their minds off the stress of picking the perfect costume.

Stress is the real killer. Another scary movie is "friday the 13th."


In it, there's a guy in a hockey mask and he stalks a group of camp counselors. The plus side, it's friday. If you live, you have the whole weekend ahead of you.

And then there's "annabelle." It's about a possessed doll that haunts a nice family. There's no bright side there. Wh scary stuff, which is why executive producer andy volunteered to go through two mazes this year.


Ellen: Yeah. And by volunteered, I mean, I made an idea we got based on "annabelle."

>> From producer ellen degeneres. You already ow

>> Now meet andy-belle.

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