Live! With Kelly and Michael

Friday, October 31st, 2014

>> We're sorry the number you ave reached is not in service. Please check the number or try your call again.

>> I know it's hard to believe, zombies in the streets of new york. Sbom dis are stupid but they're still dangerous. Please stay in your rooms.

Michael: Good morning.

Kelly: What's going on?

Michael: Nothing, it's bright out here.

Kelly: Right. Hello? Anybody here?

Michael: Hello?

Kelly: Hello? Oh, hey guys. Thanks for coming to the show.

Michael: Good morning, you must be from out of town.

Kelly: You want to do a quick selfie. Sure, why not.

Michael: Cheese!

Kelly: Ok, there you go. Ok. Well that cologne was a bold choice.

Michael: Pun gent.

>> What are you guys doing here.

>> We have to get out of here right now.

Kelly: That's sweet but we have a show to do.

>> No, you don't understand we all have to leave.

>> We have to get out of here now.

Kelly: What is it, michael gelman, he doesn't bite!

Michael: Bite, that's a good one.

>> You're on your own.

Michael: Actors.

Kelly: So dramatic.

Michael: Ok, where is everybody?

Kelly: This is a little weird. Hello? Sheesh

Michael: Sheesh, gelman, good morning to you too.

Kelly: What did you have a breakfast?

Michael: We understand, it's going to be a big show.

Kelly: Get them off me.

Michael: I can't, they're too strong!

Kelly: No!

Announcer: It's "live" the best halloween show ever. Seriously huge stars. Seriously big surprises. Seriously great costumes! Yes, we take halloween seriously! And it all starts right now.

[Captioning made possible by isney-abc domestic television]

Announcer: Now here are kelly ripa and michael strahan! Cheers and applause]

Cheers and applause]

Cheers and applause]

Kelly: I can't hear you anyway my ear feal off.


It's friday, october 31, happy halloween everybody!

[Cheers and applause]

Everyone looks amazing, we have a big show today so let's get right to you it.

Michael: Yes, let's get right to it. So, obviously the zombie apocalypse happened.

Kelly: I know and I feel like we were the last ones to know about it.


It looks like things are pretty bad out there but I know we should definite check in with cnn's anderson cooper to find out what's going on. Hi anderson.

>> Hawaii kelly and michael, as you already know the zombie apocalypse is upon us. The flesh eaters appear to be everywhere. Cherished celebrities appear to be a favorite snack of the hungry ghouls proving what we expected all along that celebrities taste much better than the average person. Here we see zombies confronting stars on movie sets. Television studios, even in their favorite coffee shops. Many stars are caught off guard by the zombies, it's truly incredible to watch.

>> Well, the evidence is conclusive, the man was efinitely murdered sometime -- oh, oh.

>> This is not cool.

>> I urge everyone to put down the cell phones and pay attention to your surroundings, the key is to stay calm in a bad situation. Entertainers seem to be exhibiting various methods of coping with the confrontations. Some fight back using conventional and unconventional methods. Some try diversion tactics.

>> Look, fresh meat.

>> Zombies are disgusting, they smell like dead meat, that's why I bring my perfume. Sofia, now they're better.

>> Many celebrities are still in denial.

>> Zombies? Lease.

>> I'm not afraid of zombies, I think zombies are, um, not even worth considering. You know? See? No zombies.

>> We've seen celebrities running for their lives.

>> No, no, no! You don't want me! You want strahan, he's bigger than me and he's tasty!

>> Some simple give up. It's really very sad.

>> Ow! Ok, that was a borrowed bracelet, you can't eat that.

>> One two time academy award winner tried to confuse her attackers. Or maybe she's just hungry, listen, it's all so difficult to watch. Kelly and michael, please be careful, keep your mouths to yourself. If you see a celebrity being eaten by real life zombies, report it or take a photo to #live zombies. Oh, no!

[Cheers and applause]

Michael: I hope anderson's ok.

Kelly: I know. That's a shame he was a good one.


Anyway, we have a huge show today. More than 50 costume changes and lots of surprises!

[Cheers and applause]

Michael: Yep. Plus the one and only howie mandel goes undercover with his hidden camera to a pop up halloween shop. He has fun with all the customers. Plus our annual costume contest has a grand prize worth $10,000!

[Cheers and applause]

Kelly: And you won't want to miss our version of taylor swift's "shake it off" video. Plus, I don't know why I'm talking like this.


I must have been biten by a pirate. We take on some of your favorite ows, including "downton abbey," "mad men" and "game of thrones."

Michael: Also after the show, make sure you follow us on social media and go to our website for special online halloween exclusives.

Kelly: Right now we're going to change into our next costume and while we do, check out our version of "orange is the new black."

[Cheers and applause]

>> My name is piper chapman. Now this is my life.

Kelly: I wasn't ready.

>> I like your ears.

>> Ew.

>> I've been coming to --

>> Mendes is back, witches!

>> How am I surprised to fight an old russian lady?

>> Get your tush out of my kitchen.

>> And I think I have a prison wife. Her name is crazy eyes. She's crazy eyes. Which is crazy. Crazy eyes.

>> I'm going to call you dandelion.

>> Is that for me? Thank you.

>> I'm scared of what I'm missing out on. Promise me you won't wash my bed without me.

>> We have our yoga workshop wine tasting class.

>> How do I get out of here, there will be three new generations of I'm phone.

>> But I'm learning to pass the time with the rest of the ladies. One thing's for sure, this place can make your crazy.

> I'm not crazy, I'm chosen. Do I have some thick in my teeth.

>> It's like the hamptons only horrible.

>> I want to absorb that smart chick and her power.

>> It's a great day. I have a really strong shot at a twix bar so don't make me rip your throat out. I just have to stay strong.


>> The second you're perceived as weak you already are.

Kelly: I'm scared I'm not myself in here. And I'm scared I am.

>> Dandelion, she's dangerous.

Kelly: I have been slapped, starved, spit on, stalked and called taylor swift. Can you please just cut me some slack.

>> Really? You look nothing like taylor swift.

Kelly: In the end, I am no different from the inmates. Ok, well, maybe just a little bit better. Cheers and applause]

>> Hi, my name is danai gurira, I my michonne. Earlier this program there were scenes attacking various celebrities. The producers of "live" would like to assure you that no zom zombies were harmed during the shooting of these scenes. Hey! Hey! I'm working here! You get! You really don't want to mess with me. You really don't. Don't.

[Cheers and applause]

Announcer: Still ahead on "live" we'll see what happens when howie mandel takes his hidden camera to a halloween pop up store. Our annual halloween costume contest will award the lucky winner $10,000 trip to antigua. And up next more than 50 costume changes, and more big celebrity surprises as we continue "live's" best halloween show ever. Seriously. Cheers and applause]

Kelly: Good morning don. Are you ready for the big ad pitch?

Michael: I am now.

Kelly: Great, because we have a partners meeting without you and to be honest we can't afford to lose this account for the new super computer.

Michael: Well then let me prep some more. How can I sell computers when I don't understand them?

Kelly: Don't be intimidated by all the me technology. The men who designed these computers made it so simple that even a woman can use it.

Michael: I see.

Kelly: It's funny because I can't see a thing. But everyone at home should take a look at this.

>> New loves, new secrets, new cast members? Season five of the international hit "downton abbey" will start airing in early 2015 and it's been reported that uber fan kim kardashian campaigned to join the cast. Did kim nail the audition and win a role? If so, can kanye be far behind. Extra has the first look at the season five question that answered the kardashian question and gives us a sneak peek at what to expect on "downton abbey."

>> I'm laura linney. And this is masterpiece classic.


Announcer: This season on "downton abbey," living, loving and the occasional flashback.

>> Mary, my darling daughter, you must start living and loving again.

Kelly: No, papa. Matthew was my one true love. I'll never love again. Never! Never, ever, no, no way, no sir bob. Wait, didn't I meet someone recently?

> Hello, I just bought the castle down the street. I'm your new neighbor. Maybe we'll become lovers.



Kelly: Hmmm. Kenny, mama likes.

Announcer: The recipe for disaster.

>> Come quick!

>> I'm right here salary girl.

>> Lady mary said she wanted a 10 course meal for 20 people in 30 minutes.

>> Is she mad? The lotter is empty. What will we do?

>> Wait, I found a kidney, a hoof and old sock.

>> Good girl! Let's start cooking.

Announcer: New characters.

>> Pardon me countess, you have visitors.

>> Weird casting decisions.

>> Hey, we're your american cousins from america. We came across the pond to say hey.

>> That was good, baby.

>> Thanks.

>> I forbid it. Strange americans in the house.

>> Don't worry, we got plenty of our own spoons.

>> Karlsson will you please draw me a bath.

> Certainly my lady. Milady.

>> Oh carson you're incorgeable.

Kelly: Take me now carson. Take me to the bath!

Announcer: The questions of life.

>> Mrs., will I have fall in love?

>> Someday you will, girl.

>> Is you a man?

>> Get out of my kitchen!

Announcer: Every season a mysterious letter.

>> A letter for you my lord.

>> A letter?

>> A letter.

Michael: A letter

Kelly: What's a letter, like abc's.

Michael: A letter, like a text, but on paper.

Kelly: Oh. Right. What does the letter say papa?

Michael: Yeah, what does it say lord grand slam? We've lost everything. We're ruined.

Kelly: Ruined?

Michael: Ruined!

Kelly: Ruined?

>> We must do something to save it.

Michael: What to do.

Kelly: What to do.

>> [Beep] we going to do.

Michael: That countess is funny.

Michael: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. False alarm. This letter's from last season. We're fine. Downton is saved.

Kelly: Hooray. The downtown alley is saved.

>> You're amazing.

Kelly: Thank you your holyness, I accept your compliment.

>> Compliment, I must have said it wrong.

Kelly: Gran, may ski you a question. I've noticed lately that you're always seated. Are you all right?

>> I'm fine my darling girl. There's a simple reason why I'm always seated. A zombie ate my legs!

Kelly: Oh, pity. I'm lawyer y linney, watch the new season of "downton abbey" only on masterpiece classic.

[Cheers and applause]

Announcer: Still ahead on "live," one of our lucky audience members will walk away with a $10,000 trip to antigua. Cheers and applause]

Kelly: My costumes and trick or treating, so we send howie mandel on a very special undercover assignment at a local pop up spirit halloween shop.

Michael: You can see more on howie on deal with it, on fridays on tbs. But right now let's check him out in this special halloween hidden camera piece where his tricks are definitely a treat.

>> Let the festivities begin. I want to fill out a customer satisfaction survey. How would you rate me on a scale from one to orange?

>> What?

>> How would you rate me as a sales person and your experience here on a scale of one to orange. I don't know what that means.


Don't know what that means. Excuse me? Excuse me?

>> They want us to stay right with the customers, that's what they say.

>> Ok, this is -- it's fine, can you please leave me alone? Thank you.

>> I'm the helpful bunny.

>> Ok, I'm done.

>> Happy halloween. Ok, customer satisfaction survey complete. You're having a halloween party. Ok. Don't tell me, let me guess, you're having a halloween party

>> No, no, no --

>> Wait, wait, wait, let me guess. You're having a halloween party for a 40-year-old woman --

>> No.

>> Wait! Let me guess. You're having a halloween party for a 40-year-old woman --

>> No, no, no, no.

>> Ok, go ahead.

>> I'm looking for --

>> Let me guess. You are getting a hair cut. Don't shake hands, I hug. Ok.

>> Ok, larry. You are good man. You are very strong for me. Help me, somebody. Omebody help me! Right this way. Just lay down I'm going to put the costume on you, we'll get a picture of you. Just lay on this side of the orange line. On your back.

>> Oh my gosh.

>> You want to put your head on this. Put your head on that, and you're saying the cat? Ok, so what I'm doing for sizing, lie down, lie down, so the cat, it's a pretty kitty cat face, so this is the face, right that you're interested in, so I'll put the face right here. What I'm going to do is take the different costume areas, you can hear me here, just lie still because I will get a picture of the various costumes, I'm going to give you a wond woman top. What I will do is a shield, ok?

>> Yeah.

>> I can't hear you, ok?

>> Yeah.

>> Ok. So I give you a shield on that side. It won't seem like a helmet but it will be like a helmet because the safety, people are always throwing stuff, so I'm just leafing that there. Near the bottom I'll put the wonder woman, I'm doing to put this in the mid driff and the wonder woman top over that so it looks like your mid drift is showing. There. You see what I'm saying? Can you hold the club.

>> Yeah.

>> Hold the club. The way I see the bottom, I can't get to your back now, but as if this was your back, you'll have a furry, like a furry bottom. So, are you happy with this kind of outfit? I'm sorry can't hear you.

>> Yeah.

>> I'm going to get a selfie with you, ok? So it's the both of us.

>> What do you think? Be honest, be honest. What do you think?

>> It's good.

>> You do think it's good. Well that's fair. I want to wish you a happy halloween.

>> Thank you, you too.

>> Have a good day.

>> Thanks thanks for coming.

[Cheers and applause]

Announcer: You won't want to miss who kelly and michael are next. More costume changes and many more surprise guests are just moments away.

You ♪

Cheers and applause]

>> Welcome to e news. Well, it looks like the good old fashion musical is the latest craze that is sweeping the country. Girl star allison williams is making her musical debut in peter pan out this fall.

>> They let our cameras in for a sneak peek at their rehearsal and they have a few surprises in store.

Michael: Peter, where are you going? Come back here and fight me.

>> Sing the iconic songs, the rehersals are in full swing.

Kelly: Never grow up never grow up not me not I not me not me ♪

>> As expected they are working through some technical glitches.

>> Look out stink.

>> I'm having trouble with these wings. Wardrobe!

>> The actors are working tirelessly, running lines for the much anticipated live event.

Michael: And then he'll die!

Kelly: Oh stink you're such a firefly.

>> I prefer pixie.

>> Oh stink you're such a firefly.

>> I prefer the term pixie.

>> It seems like that your hingery to make this a huge success.

>> Someone cull lunch?

>> Oh, stink. Stink?

>> Oh, sorry I just got so hungry.

>> But all the hard work will pay off when we get to see allison williams fly live in november as peter pan.

Kelly: Take a look at me and see how easily it's done I'm flying I'm flying snote

>> Wow, that is going to be something. I that tinkerbell actress is a newcomer. I wonder who she is.

>> So graceful.

>> This began when carrie underwood starred in the live sound of music.

>> That had 22 million viewers tuning in to see her singing my favorite things.

>> Bright copper kettles.

>> We also have our hands on this recently released irector's

> Hello dear, how are you?

[Cheers and applause]

>> Here she is now, ellen degeneres.

[Cheers and applause]

[Organ plays]

[Cheers and applause]

>> Ellen: Thank you so much. Have a seat. Happy halloween!

[Cheers and applause]

You can probably tell who I am. I'm mrs. George clooney.

[Cheers and applause]

Say hi, george. He says hi. I got to use the carpool lane today. That's good. I like halloween because it's the one time you can dress up however you want and pretend someone that you can never be in real life. For me, it's married to a man.

[Cheers and applause]

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